Insane Difficulty: Return Of The Adventures Of Ansehelm - Insane Difficulty

Good day to one and all,

Ansehelm is back from a two-year voyage beyond the lands of Ivalice, and is hungry for more adventure!


For those of you who remember the original series, yes, Ansehelm and company will fight to the very end this time. For those who don't, welcome to the place where good triumphs (with class) and evil gets its backside handed to it on a mithril platter. So without further ado, let us proceed to (a nice short episode to start,)...

Return of The Adventures of Ansehelm Part 1: The Way of the Empty Hand

The assault on the Academy was over as quickly as it had started. The last enemy squire was crouched desperately into a corner, blood trickling into the waterways, as Delita calmy stepped up and threw the crushing blow. He danced his sword in the water to bathe away the blood.
"What's the matter Ansehelm?" Delita asked "Didn't want to get your hands dirty?"

"I realize it was necessary," Ansehelm responded, "But I wish there was another way. We may have to fight, but I don't have to like it."
Ansehelm's sword had not been drawn during the battle, although the sheath had taken a beating in self-defense.

"As you like it." Delita replied. "Then you'd best find others to fight for you. Know that there will be no peace until the Death Corps is destroyed."

"He has," interrupted Ansehelm's lieutenant. "We trust Ansehelm's judgement. We will be his swords to save the innocent and crush the wicked...if we do what we are capable of, Ansehelm will not have to draw his weapon, and I fear to be here the day he does. Ivalice needs incorruptible nobles."

Delita showed an inscrutable smirk. "Interesting." He said. "Well, let's see if pacifism is a luxury you can afford, Ansehelm. Our enemies are better armed and more experienced than we are. We shall see what weight your idealism can support."

"Don't worry," Ansehelm said. "I have a plan, against which the strongest cannot stand. But," He turned to face his small squad, "we've got a lot of work to do."

Oh, I liked your playthrough. Glad to have you back mate.

I'll inmerse properly into the reading later. For now, keep 'em coming, the world needs more 1.3 activity.

Agreed. And thank you for your warm words

Return of The Adventures of Ansehelm Part 3: Unleash the Beast

A stiff afternoon wind battered the trees, enveloping Ansehelm's blood-spattered troops in the breeze-carried scent of sweat, and the sickly sweet smell of freshly-killed animals. A red goblin's paw twitched spasmodically as Konrad unsheathed his knife from its back. Suddenly, a deep roar broke through the air several yards away. All the creatures had been slain, save the great red beast. A muscle-bound, blood-red fur covered arm reached out to claw it's way into the chemist's heart. A knife met the the cloven paw halfway, barely holding back the beast's tremendous strength. Moments before the chemist gave way before the savage tower of muscle, Ellis approached the beast from behind and threw a subduing, but not fatal blow. "You're mine now." She said as the colossal monster slumped to the ground.


The buildings that made up Dorter Trade City came more clearly into view with each step on the dusty road. As the party approached the outlying slums, two knights could be seen, in apparent confrontation. The red beast, led in chains by Ellis, growled viciously. "Has he been fed today?" Asked Ansehelm's second-in-command. "Not yet." Ellis returned. "Good. Ansehelm, if there's a fight, we're ready. Lead us to victory."
The first knight fled the scene, but other enemy soldiers promptly appeared from the alleys. "Look at their weapons," remarked Delita. "They are much better prepared than we. Will your sword still be a coward and hide?"
"Don't worry," Ansehelm said. "We know something they don't"

Unwilling to negotiate, the enemy joined battle immediately. Wielding their finest Ultimus bows, the enemy marksmen rained arrows down on Ansehelm's party. A sharp shaft tore through Ansehelm's shoulder as he crumpled to the ground. "You know what to do." He told his troops through gasps for breath.
As the enemy knights and wizards attempted to approach, Ellis performed a magical dance, distracting and confusing the enemy as the red beast charged, eager to sink its claws and teeth into anything that moved. It charged at the enemy knight who stared in wide-eyed surprise and shock until the beast left him lifeless on the ground.

The remaining enemy troops, leaderless, confused, and shocked by the beast's power, began to turn on each other in a desperate attempt to survive or escape. But to no avail. The remainder of Ansehelm's troops, although poorly armed, moved in in brilliant execution of their leader's plans.

For every enemy that fell, Ansehelm's troops salvaged the fine weapons from the conquered foes. The final archer, in his fearful flight, was overtaken by the beast, and defeated like his comrades.

"I still wish there was another way..." Ansehelm mused as his chemist attended his severe shoulder wound. "But well done, soldiers. May you always fight well...so that others do not have to."

I can only see Anselheim fitting to support the cause by making use of the power of words. And chemicals to support his brave followers. I'd even bet his training has allowed him to improve his strength and precision to cure wounds and diseases from a distance.

I mean, just make him a bloody chemist with talk skill.

Ah, subtlety. A fine idea, and one that would lend itself well to his character. I would have him in such a support role but for the fact that the goal is to stay low-leveled (overall, not on a per-battle basis) so as to get later-game characters at low-levels. So for now, he won't draw first blood or gain exp. But not to fear, his beast will be unleashed in time.

Return of The Adventures of Ansehelm Part 5: Burying Brigands
"This sword is just the gift to give our enemies" Sir Konrad said as he admired the golden gleam of the Defender, glinting in the sunlit hills approaching Lenalia plateau. The spoils of the last battle had done much to bring the party's weaponry up to the level of their enemies, but more was needed. And yet, Ansehelm's soldiers, having been assailed many times by brigands in Mandalia and surrounding regions, had become battle-hardened veterans.

Ellis had been practicing her powers of reasoning and persuasion. "Why destroy the enemy troops," she reasoned, "when they can be enticed to join our cause?" Her ideas, while scoffed at by the more hawkish members of the party, were about to be put to the test.

Miluda had regrouped after the fiasco at the thieves' fort, and was now determined to conquer or die. Her forces were impressive, and although Ansehelm's troops had 'acquired' several powerful weapons, they were outclassed by the enemies' superior armor. Having the advantage of speed over Miluda's knights, Ellis made a passionate appeal for one of them to join her side rather than be slain. The proposal was found unconvincing, and the enemy knight raised her sword and cut Ellis down. An allied dancer raised her up with a phoenix down, and once again, an invitation was made to another nearby knight. This time the enemy knight, finding justice to be on Ansehelm's side, joined his team and began to fight the thieves. Joined by a blood stalker, a dancer, and sir Konrad, the enemy forces began to be overwhelmed. The blood stalker, a beast with its own type of swordskill, used its powers to drain life from enemy soldiers and replenish its own strength. The dancer confused and poisoned the enemy with a mystical sway, and sir Konrad smote furiously with his Defender.

Soon Miluda was surrounded, and the blood stalker finished her once and for all. With a new, powerful knight in their party, and all her quality equipment, Ansehelm's squad felt ready for anything. Soon the Death Corps would pass from Ivalice and trouble the people no more.

Ah, I remember you! Welcome back!

Will be following this as time permits me to.

Good to hear from you as well. Feel free to comment, suggest, etc. what you might like to see in continuing adventures.

Return of The Adventures of Ansehelm Part 9: Fireworks at Zeakden

The death corps leader named "Wiegraf" was a powerful foe and a true sword-master, but his party of raggle-taggle troops was not sufficient to support him. He had retreated in temporary defeat, against Ansehelm's new weaponry - a pack of lethal plagues, who had taken the place of some experienced soldiers who had been dismissed. But doubtless this man, Wiegraf, would appear again to trouble Ivalice.

Ansehelm and the creatures moved forward to Fort Zeakden. Algus the betrayer, in the murder of Teta, revealed the corruption that had long been festering in his heart. Ansehelm looked upon their erstwhile ally in pity: like so many, he had sold true nobility for power. Delita, in rage, went forth to attack, and the chill air resounded with the flutter of winged creatures as the plagues proceeded to attack. But Algus was not ill-protected. His knights stood forth and smote down Delita, while the wizards cast damaging ice spells upon Ansehelm and his creatures. While Ansehelm refused to attack directly, he had studied Geomancy and learned to counter the enemy's attack with earth energy, damaging the wizards somewhat. The plagues moved in, flying from over the rooftop, and fixated their gaze directly upon Algus. The clouds burst, and burning, blinding blasts of focused red-hot light rained down upon the hapless traitor. Grunts of pain resounded and the smell of burnt hair and singed robes carried through the air. Algus recoiled in pain, and his troops rushed to his rescue. But it was too late. The last plague had him in its sights, a single focused eye about to bring justice upon the wretch.


A final red beam shone down on Algus, and he writhed for a moment under its fury, and at last collapsed. When the ray had passed, a smouldering heap of armor lay in the melting snow.


Having failed in their mission to protect Algus, and terrified at their leader's demise, his troops quickly fled the scene, escaping away into the snowy mountains. Ansehelm and Delita rushed to Teta, but time had done its work. Suddenly, an explosion rocked the air. And another. The powder in the fort had been lit!

A wave of fire strafed Ansehelm, its scorching breath threatening to envelope everything in lethal heat. Ansehelm rolled off into the snow, and yelled for Delita, as his friend stood motionless above. Without warning, the fort erupted into a manmade volcano.
Delita was gone. Ansehelm and his party fled, on wing and foot, smothering their singed clothing and skin in the welcome frigidness of the snow. Fort Zeakden stood like a flaming beacon to tragedy, a monument to the injustice that had taken place there, and indeed to so many others like it.

RIP Ansehelm.