Insane Difficulty: Men of Insane Difficulty, it's okay to feel down - Insane Difficulty

I haven't read the rest of the thread (i absolutely plan on it though) but I really want to thank you for these words stann, they really spoke to me. What ever you and everyone else is going through I hope the best for you all. Man I love this place.

joeafro, on 17 January 2016 - 09:29 AM, said:

I mostly wrote this post because it's something that I've believed for a long time, and I know I'm not the only one who does. I just hoped that there were at least a few people out there who needed to hear it from someone else, loudly and publicly. I'm glad you were one of them.

Just curious as to why anyone would down vote advent's post in this thread? He's agreeing with stann, and drawing the line between his original post about a completely unrelated topic.

Advent's post was about the amount of complaining on ID, and how if you are constantly putting yourself down, you will never accomplish anything. He really doesn't state anything about freedom of emotion and crying when you need to.

Also, good post stann. Took me a couple reads and a talk with advent in order for me to fully get on the same page, but I agree completely.

FFTA, on 17 January 2016 - 04:07 PM, said:

I think people misinterpreted the inquiry part, and/or kneejerked when they saw the term "alpha male".

Other than that, I really have no idea.

True equality will be the day when ANY person of ANY age/gender being attacked by ANYONE else (even a woman or child) is permitted to defend themselves without being thrown in jail or charged with assault/etc.

A woman can beat up a man and nearly-always get away with it.
A man defends himself? THROW THE PIG IN JAIL! >_>

And until we get that kind of true equality in the real world, I'm going to flip the bird at anyone that uses the term 'feminazi' in a serious manner or talks about 'evil patriarchy' in a serious manner.

Men and women are different and the whole genderfluid stuff still wierds me out but it is whatever as long as people are chill about things.

I only have one wish: Just follow the golden rule and treat others as you'd like to be treated (courtesy/respect/kindness).

Denton, on 17 January 2016 - 05:05 PM, said:

I'm not sure what country you live in, but I really hope it's not the United States. If it is, you don't know what you're talking about.

Denton, on 17 January 2016 - 05:05 PM, said:

True equality is a myth, and what you're talking about isn't even true equality to begin with. What you're talking about already exists in I would think just about every first-world country.

Now, what usually happens is a woman hits a man, and the man doesn't want to file charges because he's too scared of what those around him will think of him when he does. This is an entirely different scenario that has far less to do with equality and more to do with the individual and who they keep around them.

Denton, on 17 January 2016 - 05:05 PM, said:

What the fuck does this have to do with not calling men pussies and fags for expressing emotion?

Kjata, on 17 January 2016 - 07:49 PM, said:

I fucking love you, dude.

Advent, on 17 January 2016 - 10:05 PM, said:

What the fuck does this have to do with calling people pussys or fags for showing emotion.

You pussy.

I fucking love you guys.

Well, I guess everyone agree that we should shout out "hello pussies" any time we enter the ID chat (I'm doing it at least....)

Kjata, on 17 January 2016 - 07:49 PM, said:

People see me making a comparison between men and women and automatically think: YEAH, MY TIME TO SHINE. GEEEEENDEEEER WAAAARS AAAREEEE GOOOOOO. It's happened multiple times, especially since I've x-posted this to Facebook. >.>

I was referencing stuff like this:
https://www.youtube....h?v=CRCS6GGhIRc

The USA society that I live in does not protect men whatsoever. Special protections are in place solely due to female gender and no such male gender equivalents exist (even for men who have an endomorphic body type). Police bias has happened due to gender, race, and religious factors.

Now I could link to the Guardian Project on Police killings but that's not specific to this thread. There's more than enough places where minorities have been specifically targeted by police in certain areas of the country.

For men in particular, any *claim* of sexual harassment or domestic violence is the kind of thing that can destroy entire lives/careers even if the allegations are blatantly false. And this kind of thing happens time and time again.

To use an earlier example, it isn't that the man being beaten by a woman is afraid of how they are perceived for reporting it, it is they are not reporting it because NOBODY will believe them or help them or take them seriously.

And this is relevant to the thread when it comes to how society expects certain gender roles to behave.

Denton, on 18 January 2016 - 05:52 PM, said:

Perhaps that's because women are objectively smaller and (physically) weaker than men.

Denton, on 18 January 2016 - 05:52 PM, said:

The last time I checked, the male sex was not a minority. I'll split this thread right now if you're intending to ride this wave to Black Lives Matter territory.

Denton, on 18 January 2016 - 05:52 PM, said:

Finally, a point to be made.

Yes, this is absolutely true, and it's something that I think should be addressed, but most of the time when people say this, I can't help but wonder, how shitty of a person do you have to be where you worry about this kind of thing constantly? I get that it's something that can happen and ruin your life in a flash, and you have no control over it, but so can a car accident, or any number of things.

Denton, on 18 January 2016 - 05:52 PM, said:

Uhh, no. If you are attacked by someone physically, you report it. Why does believing them or helping them even enter into that equation? Unless you're talking about like, in the middle of the street. If you're physically attacked by someone and sociological (or other) factors are not preventing you from reporting it, and you don't report it, you're an idiot and you deserve whatever you get. End of story.

Denton, on 18 January 2016 - 05:52 PM, said:

Except that has absolutely nothing to do with what you're saying. You're branching off into a whole other issue. All Stann said was that men shouldn't be afraid to speak their mind if they're hurting. What you're talking about is something that I can't help but feel you're blowing way out of proportion.

Until you drop some valid statistics about how men are disproportionately the target of domestic abuse as opposed to women, I, as well as many others, remain highly skeptical of these claims you're making.

Basically, I don't dispute that domestic violence is an important subject to criticize. Statistics Canada reports that men make up roughly 50% of victims in these cases, but women are much more likely to be the victims of far more serious or life threatening abuse.



And while people not believing that men can be the target of abuse, it's only one of the problems we have to look at.



I think many of the points on that list sound quite familiar.

It's obvious that you have an axe to grind on this topic, if you'd like to make a topic about it go right ahead.

While I don't doubt the female side has a much rougher time with domestic violence instances, I have problem with the way society handles and reacts to them. When I was in high school there was an indecent of a male teacher taking advantage of a female student and a female teacher taking advantage of a male student. The male teacher was at my school and happened to be a shit human being. The female teacher was at another school and I know next to nothing about her. What pissed me off was while the public shamed the male teacher, the most common view I saw of the female teachers case was 'He probably liked it'. Both cases were fucked up and horrible but the way they were treated was completely different.

For things like this, it is good to see that openness is applauded. Some things just need to be said. Bravo.

Personally, if someone feels close enough to me to feel that they could lean on me in that fashion, then that is a good thing. Regardless of gender. Perhaps I have just been lucky enough not to have anyone tell me to "be more of a man" but then again, I don't tend to make too many waves in the first place.